apply

so, i'm in chicago right now, and i just submitted two law school applications online.  both schools are probably going to reject me, but what the hell?  i'm interviewing at northwestern tomorrow.  they try to interview everybody, so it sadly does not mean that i am anything special in their eyes.  i must say that the fear is creeping up on me.  not fear of the interview.  i'll do just fine one that, i interview perfectly well.  nope, it's the plain and simple fear of rejection.  that i tortured myself over these applications for no reason.  it's also fear of disappointment.  i've let myself fantasize about being in school next fall, moving to chicago or ann arbor, not paying as ridiculous amounts of money in rent, being close to friends and family, doing something special with my life.  and in all liklihood those fanasies will go down in flames when i recieve the thin envelopes from those schools.  hell, at this point i'd feel good if one of them waitlisted me.  northwestern doesn't even send you the thin envelope.  they email you a link to a webpage where you discover your rejection.  you know, at least when you get the envelope, you have the power over how fast you open the damn thing.  on the internet you have no control over how fast the page opens.  suddenly, boom, it's there.  their decision.  what They have decided.  now my fate for next fall is in the hands of a bunch of Them.  oh jesus...

Comments

[becki]

I KNOW! It is slow torture. When I was applying I practically jumped the mailman every day for THE LETTER. How are you supposed to jump a website? Not the same.

Good luck with your interviews!!!

[Jon]

Any school that reads your essay and then passes on you would basically be a school for jerks. This is indisputable.

[eve]

hey, that's what i decided when uc sent me the thin com10. bear up. northwestern ain't all that, which is a roundabout way of saying "if i can get in with my 2.8 plus nothing, so can you."

i'm sorry we didn't get to hang out. i was in flake mode all week. no, month. no, for the past five years or so. :(

[sara]

Yo! I am so sorry I flaked on getting your essay back to you on time. That email thing is fucking shitty. My friend was visiting me from Chicago when she got her rejection link from her top choice. It was devastating. I want something physical, with texture and presence. I want to be in grad school. I'm jealous of you.

[gigi]

don't be too jealous, i got my first rejection link on friday as well, and from my top choice. fucking northwestern. actually, more like, fucking LSAT score. baaahhh! my condolences go out to your friend, i feel her pain...